What we all want and what we actually get.

I think in the mainstream, we all want the same things.

Good Health, Wealth, and Wisdom.... to use that  wealth wisely.
 Peace, Joy, and Love.
Having a stable relationship will insure peace, to some degree. And love is so sweet.

But, what happens when we, due to whatever influence, get involved in a bad relationship----or we think we are in a good relationship, and mid-stream-we find out that it was never gonna be good?
The person is medicated and forgot to share that very real-life aspect of their health/personality with you?
Or the hopes and dreams you discussed when dating change as soon as you say, "I do"?

 It was all smoke and bullshit to entice you in, to deal with the nightmare, that that person really is or can be? depending on their mood, medication, etc.

Also, there are times that loneliness makes us imagine that someone is something they are not.Yikkers....

Or God Forbid---we want to do the switch-er-roo. We know how that person really is--but they just need us to change them for the better........egods.

Relationships may  seem really hard work.......and that is usually because someone isn't doing, for what ever reason, their fair share of the work.....ut oh.

I liken these instances, mentioned above, to what would happen if this relationship were a corporate job....Alot of Hell to pay, would be the answer.....or, " you can fool some of the people some of the time".......right. Pink slip has been issued. re-named Divorce decree for this exercise.

What happens when someone becomes ill the second year you are in a committed relationship----I know what should occur--however, some people don't seem to.

So, what is the answer?
Well, for me, long engagements are not something I see myself entering into.......that bullshit thing again. Talking about , like say 5 years....and an elopement  after a couple of months will not work, either.

What about? here is a thought......
Looking at how, if they have any, their family interacts with them? Their friends respond to them.....assuming they have friends. Their opinions on current events. Religion, politics, children, travel, where to live. This list goes on and on, depending on what is most important to you.

I will say this.....if finances allow and you love to take a couple of trips a year, oh say, to the beach, and this person hates to leave home.....ever----you are not going to be happy. This, of course, is an exaggerated instance of possible disagreement, but can be very real.

I dated someone who traveled alot-for a corporate job--and was told that something as simple and as pleasurable for me, as going out for fine dining, had been done by them so often for corporate clients, that they never wanted to go out to eat in this type of setting again. I didn't factor into the equation.....
Sad.

Realizing that life is ever changing and your relationship will change too, is certainly important.

People are only issued so much patience and endurance and then times up?

Look hard at a situation and realize human nature being what it is, peeps  can change for the better, but old habits die hard.....and stay with people more often than not. So, if a habit bugs you while dating the person, imagine that happening everyday for years........(whoa!)

The older an individual is, the less likely change will occur in your new relationship---so maybe look at what happened in their previous relationships.......someone left them.....probably a good reason for that, say after a long time-years, however, people do grow apart.

This is not a negative blog------the answer is, choose wisely----hope for the best-however, if it is really bad-no matter what---like that corporate job----have an exit strategy--and date set.
 You do not need to share this like an ultimatum.........keep it close to your chest...."notice given" is not required in a relationship.

Being theatrical doesn't do anything more than make us look like an actor in a bad comedy.

We all want a loving and harmonious relationship, if we elect to enter into one. And we need to take our time entering into a new relationship, if this is like our third long-term one.

As a rule, few people like to be totally alone. And there is a chance you will find Mr. or Ms. Right.....

However, perfection is difficult to obtain for humans. If someone seems too perfect they usually are not.

Common sense doesn't really  prevail when our hearts and libidos are involved.
 And we cannot interview people like we do for a job.....or ask for a resume, mores the pity...haha.

We can keep our options open and take our time and, yes, hope and maybe pray for the best.......you never know.
You may be pleasantly surprised....as my niece says: "you have to kiss alot of frogs before you find your Prince".....smiling.

I hope you all get what you want......me too. Start the New Year with new dreams and the  hope that you can achieve them. God Bless us all!

Gifts of the season.......

I hope everyone had a marvelous Christmas, and in fact, the Holidays continue for many people, also, with the New Year coming into play soon.

We all have received blessings----not the over-stuffing family meal--or the presents under the tree......I am talking about internal growth......it happens every year---planned or not. Altho at family parties, we notice this is a harder learning curve for some than others.

Alot of people think our lives here are total random fate.....Puleasse........get a grip. I am someone who respects most all cultures-admires many religious histories and am shocked by others. True.

Suffice to say----if all parties are treated with respect and dignity in your religion, I can admire it. Ditto cultures.....keeping to a positive outlook, I cannot share what I feel about anyone who doesn't do this.... it does however involve an angry Deity, karma, fireballs, earthquakes, tsunamis, tornados, asteroids, hurricanes and well, you get the picture, and I didn't have to be negative to emit it. laughing....

I am saddened by the lack of evolutionary progress made by some cultures/countries......I think their cards should be revoked....not by any governmental agency----the aforementioned Deity will do ( their own will do-since they are being cruel and unusual in his name)...and amazingly enough it seems that they are all organized and operated by Fascist's dictators or a group of professed religious zealots. Grrrrr.
I may hurl the traditional Fruitcake of the season.......
I do want to say.....we need to chose something that doesn't include ourselves-and spend even a little time trying to make it better.

Women and children suffering, in the name of Allah, in another country.......the elderly in our own country......the hungry-pick a damn country......the animals who are staving and freezing right here.....and in some instances, we are forced to sit by and witness our own family-through whatever reasoning ( right)---suffer terrible bouts of mental anguish.

The Military in our country---who suffer fools gladly for a paycheck----who protect and serve us...with dignity and honor and never see it returned.....except by a grateful and silent nation and their families......God Bless them all.....bring them home to their families...soon.

We have alot wrong in our world and alot of good, decent and loving-kind people who can make a difference.......that is often times you!

Help out and see the personal growth explode----giving your gift of caring...what happens to us all....we were all created by the same Fireball.haha......it is the system we were dropped into that made us f---ed up or the system we were dropped into that made us great!!!!!!!

I hope you continue to grow and receive a blessing for doing so----positive growth. God Bless you all!

What we have to be free about......

Okay, first some free advice-----the Holidays are mostly about spending time-quality cherished time-with those we love......and like...and want to be around.
I look forward to my Boston family being here and love any and all time spent with them. Ditto, my fiance' and his fam. And indeed, my own. I am blessed.

If this doesn't sound like you---and you just feel stressed and total obligation, then change that...trust me, life is way to short not to enjoy it.

And be thankful-yes, I know Thanksgiving has passed, however, we need to realize that no matter how rotten it may seem sometimes, we enjoy such incredible freedom, that others are jailed for. Speaking our minds.

And maybe offer up a little prayer for the unjustly imprisoned in other countries......for just wanting to say what is in their hearts. And those that need and do not have. God Bless, them.

A little Holiday exercise: and here I say-this is for those folks that are nice...not like some peeps I know-who just blurt stuff out----Stop that...

Imagine you are  at the dreaded relatives holiday party and little whomever ( or their parent)  is doing their level best to make you wish you had dropped the bottle of pills in your purse, before leaving your house, imagine---only imagine, as you sit there stressing, that you are not gulping your wine---but actually interacting--in a postive way--okay or not---with the person-----then laugh it off.....your little secret--like imaging that the audience is naked-----when giving a speech.

And you get to go home, when you leave--this is their life---ikes. Be nice.
It is unfortunate, however, we all have nutty relatives-some worse than others.
And how we deal with these creatures determine our mettle under pressure.

It is not a disgrace-to say--this year we are doing New York City----will be gone. Paris is a little  further, still.....lol. We will really miss the wonderful ( can be effusive now you don't have to be there) party you give, but alas---leaving on a jet plane......haha.

I love the Chevy Chase Christmas Vacation movie........it really doesn't do justice to what some folks really do go thru-----YOU-need to change that.
No one else can.

Have a stress-free fun and jolly holiday season and change what you can-endure with grace what you can't change and count your blessings! We all have them.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!!!!!

Time is elusive.....at the best of times......

Laughing.......I love spoofy lines. Silly funnies...the list goes on...and on...
and....... Am a huge fan of old movies and slapstick comedy.

We are all-pressed for time around the Holidays......as in the days, which have grown shorter ( where is the bloody light?) Dark in the morning, when I leave and dark at night, when I get back, where, oh where, is the bloody light?...lol Right.

So how do we? extend the time, to get all we do have to do, Done? It isn't easy, at all.
I make up a schedule......of what has to be gotten finished-first.
And lists are okay, if you can remember where you put them, can take them when you need them, etc. Your getting the idea.

The true secret of success is to  ask for help-----babysitters are there---suss them out. Ask someone to pick up an item for you if you know they will be where it is at......usually peeps are happy to help each other. And there are still secret shoppers.......they are affordable and will follow your list.

I live and die by my day planner.......only way to keep appointments straight.....it is the extension of my arm---like a man's remote control or a teenagers cell phone.

I was going to start a service to be like an on-call assistant for people..kinda like a drive-you-around and pick up your stuff........still probably would be a life-saver for folks.
 Hey, all the "STARS" have them.....personal assistants. It's just money--versus your sanity.

Okay, I am laughing.....but, there is always--what is most important to me-you-those you love-----and it starts with a Q-----------Quality time......go for it and stress-free your Holidays!

Want-Need, not the same at all.

It is said that need is the Mother of Invention...actually, not exactly like that.....it is necessity is the Mother of Invention......true-so true.

And, how we respond to and act upon our necessity, virtually determines how successful we will be.
For example-----responding negatively-just frustrates us and everyone around us. Responding positively-has the opposite effect.

It is said that we can see a negative person coming for miles and will, of course, try our level best, to avoid them like the plague.

Not to mention that these continual drains on human spirit earns them the term "Human Vampire"- genus-emotional....that is.

So what is the answer, here.? Let's say something happens and you cannot feel good about it? Exude goodwill flowing from every pore? What are we to do? Lie-fake it?

Perspective and moderation.......when my younger Brother died-young---I could not stop the tears from flowing---I honestly wanted to, stop crying, that is......just could not. I was, the term "brokenhearted" comes to mind, however, it wasn't quite that bad, really, I was  just devastated.

My reasoning for bringing  this up at this time of year, is that it is, "that time of year". And the Holidays have us thinking about those we truly loved-still love and wish were here with us.

And as to Want---we should certainly treat ourselves to stuff. Winters are cold-icky-can be down right bleak. So if you want that little get away for a weekend-----GO-GO-GO! get a deal on it...or better yet, who doesn't have a friend or relative somewhere South of the Border---okay, South of Tennessee. lol I do. And she is always urging me to come visit. I should and have. Staying for free!!!!!

Now,  on to Need----if you suffer misfortune---get-ask-for help. There is no-Nada-none-shame in it. And you will be denied.......".I will help you---UT oh!- I have changed my mind"......these peeps need to realize true need to feel how awful this can make another feel. Do not promise to help someone in real need and then re neg. Especially after they have waited for it---God-Karma-can and will punish you! Just say NO! and let them move on to their real friends.......

We are all blessed by having people in our lives that we cherish...letting them know this is very important.....I have friends, and then I have friends...who are my true and lovely family......and I am blessed with a large family, also.
Most of us have both......

I say it again--"True friends are the family we choose".
Let them know how much you appreciate them.....there are .so many ways you can do this.....I just like to say it!

Okay---enuff said-----Enjoy your Holidays, bearing down on us...lol.....and have fun! Be Safe!

Are You....Living Your Life to the Fullest?

We all, especially as we advance in age, have introspective moments, where we wonder if we are getting the most out of our lives?

We want to get in all the peace ( Vacay)  and joy ( Oh, the places we go to visit) and love (Who we are sharing these with ) we can to make us feel completely fulfilled.

There are so many places to visit, things to see in many of the good ole USA states...that you could, like we have before, plan a trip to many different states, or  even the same one, and go to different cities there. Florida is a very good example of this, as well as California.

Still on my list:
Santa Barbara, California-Lovely, by all accounts
Gettysburg, Pa.-Civil War
Chads Ford, Pa.-the Wyeths Museum
Just to name a few.

And the pentacle of a good time is that European or Asian or African trip that we have always dreamed of. The Pyramids.....whoohoo!

You get the idea.

 There is a PBS show hosted by Rick Steves---this man has traversed every square inch of Europe and beyond and done it on a BUDGET......more importantly---if you purchase his video or maybe get it on loan from your local library......he highlights the places really worth visiting when you get to that special destination......a video tour guide.....really knowledgeable....and worth a lookie-look before you go.

One thing that I found out, by having a friend who owns a hotel in Rome-----she has a puppy and doesn't want to fly with him, so she prefers to go to Europe via cruise ship--embarking in Barcelona.....takes a little longer---has some really good sights you can't get from the plane-lol...

And, while we don't want to look for trouble----heading it off is a must: for examples:

 It is so important to know the people you will take a long trip with.
 Or/and....
If you know there are issues with someone, Uncle Ted  burns easily and hates to swim in the ocean and we are planning that day trip to a small island off the coast of...along the beach in..to  sun and swim...you get the picture.
Worse case scenario-----you are avoiding someone on a cruise ship...for 7 days....or longer.
Or you are stuck on the plane, coming back for 8 hours, with your new arch-enemy--that great friend at work and her husband., who seemed like the perfect pair to travel with.
With family--it usually is a very pleasant experience and with friends-new or old---level-headed peeps enjoy the time away and are pleasant.

Well, I think a great rule of thumb, is that whenever you are scheduled to fly-drive-cruise-----safety is the main concern......so choose wisely and plan ahead to the best possible scenario. Things can and do occur with the best laid plans.....so be patient.

Have a safe and fun Holidays and Do something, in your town, in another city, or around the globe---that you would not necessarily do, to broaden the scope of your experience......expanding your life goals, even a little at a time!!!!

The Flu---a very bad bugger......

Ikky-poo....If you are one of the most unfortunate peeps suffering the true misfortune of "catching" the flu......heed said advice:

When you start feeling better--maybe day (4) --do not start hauling in the food---you will regret it......go easy...on your compromised system.....

Lite-clear liquids.......soup.....broth....( watch the salt) my personal opinion is that added sugar and salt ( not alot-just what may be in foods) is not a horrible thing....your minerals are depleted......electrolytes-drinks are ideal/best.

And, after reading up and asking a pharmacy about the best anti-poo meds....Multi-symptom Imodium----helps with cramping-and pain--is reccommended as the best.

Go to//or call  the Doctor and ask for advice........ask what products and foods to use during this terrible time. ESPECIALLY if you have special needs---ie: a cardiology patient. (we have one)

This is a rotten time for you and your body and your psyche.....get loads of REST!

God Bless. Take care....so you can enjoy the Holidays......important!

Salem, Mass.......

Land of the Witches.........lol. Some would say I gravitate to the place, because I belong---going home for a visit. lol

I love Salem. Reason being .. when I go to Boston and stay with my lovely Bostonian family there----we always plan a trip together to Salem.
With all that Boston has to offer---alot----and travel-stay time limited--this has to tell you that Salem is special.
It is!!!!

This last time, was two weeks before Halloween--and plan on-if that is when you intend to visit-the month of October---to realize that Salem will be packed. Packed full of tourists...weekdays are far better...unless you like a mad mob.....lol. nah....kidding.

Parking will be available-this may involve walking for some distance....to reach the main drag/destination.

Our first destination was the Lobster Shanty and a Lobster-tini-(saw this place on Food Network) --was awesome...the food incredible..and costumed pets were sooo cute while waiting for a table...and the servers are so funny and nice.
    I had baked Halibut-a side of Slaw-red-drenched in spices and vinegar...was very good. I also had a Cuevro Gold Margarita--hold the Triple sec----the Bartender added orange juice to flavor----I was walking tipsey for a wee bit after leaving---these folks don't hold the CG.....yea!!!!

It was cool weather, but not cold...layer clothing  when in Boston---good rule of thumb.

While we were walking to the Shanty---we saw so many peeps dressed up for Halloween--Salem is a place for free-souls--a place to dress up in a crazy or cute or scary costume and frolic in the street.....
We also saw some people giving rousing ( or one could say grousing ) versions of "hell and damnation" speeches---taking you back to the time of the  Trials.
 While on the opposing corner a "love thy neighbor" speech--no matter what or who he is.....makes you think.

Once again----get a street map-what I truly love is that if you walk into any shop-( my experience was with Hex--the shopkeepers are sooo nice and will give you a city brochure--street map included and will direct you)

The Salem Brewery-Beer Works is a place to visit....a must see-drink...hearty fare and many different flavored beers.....

The alley-way----double sized- that we walked into, by chance, ended up being a treasure trove of small shops....my advice---go early and -explore....
There is the Witches Museum/gift shop-fun....
Shops-Shops-Shops.....restaurants and, yes....readings by Psychics and Mediums----and Witches...modern day...own shops with spices and herbs and stones and tools of the trade.......I will do a blog of shops to visit.

Enjoy--plan on a fair weather day....lots of walking..lots of people to share shops with (waiting) if you go the last two weekends of October..If not....still plan on going early....better chances of seeing all there is to see....and you can always stay over.....
Keyword-----Planning......where to stay-park-eat-and possibly waiting for a bit at each destination...Enjoy!!!!!
Salem is sooo cool...love it..you will too!

Totally Evolving......

A short FYI-----we are all totally changing and evolving---hopefully,in a positive manner. This blog will also, on occasion, do the same.....and also, I like most people do not like to make errors in typing-typos....grammar, and spelling.....please forgive these gaffes...hopefully,those will be shortlived......but, will happen from time to time....hang in there...Please!
Count on the literary content to be worth your time....it willllllll! lol

Nutrition is the key!!!!!

It is flu season---you know that pre-winter time where it is warm-cold-warm...talking 'bout the temperatures here......Prevention beats the heck out of the cure.....water--loads per day.....sometimes having a very lite day of foods and fluids is wonderful for your system. Or a few days of this....

Green tea with honey---I love the flavored kind---did you know Panera has a delicious cold green tea?---maybe have that instead of the coke or coffee---free refills.....yea! I nice way to get a "high in antioxidants" dose of  nutrition......

Go to Whole Foods and buy some vitamin C---you can take this--sick or not----What is amusing is that you can eat as much fruit and veggies as you can hold--and when the flu hits---your body will still need higher doses to counter this illness.

Probiotics are an answer to prayer---when your body's system is out of whack....Eating Yogurt--find a kind you like----is prevention at it's best---like an apple ( yes, I advocate this too) One per day......

I want to let you in on some of the amazing things I have to share regarding nutrition-prevention-and the companies that provide this.....

However, our next blog will deal with Salem, Ma.---my trip there and where to go and what is best........in that Awesome town!!!!!!

Stay healthy......take care so that you may be able to enjoy the holidays......

Art-Art and some more Art....

Haha. I want to say quickly, before we travel to Boston, Art is an enjoyable facet to a full life.....no matter where or in what medium you find it....that said...

There is a place, okay, I am gonna mention two....

Art on Main----is a cool place in Loveland, Ohio that houses quite a few well known and lesser known artists....they have an event called Second Saturday-(right-2nd Sat. of the month)...where you can go and visit their studios-the artists---(about 28, the  last time I checked).

One guy does Civil War art that is amazing....self-taught...no formal education to speak of.....
I have a friend that does cool-really cool jewelry....right across from the Post Office on Loveland-Maderia Road.

I was taught (Bless the man for hanging in there-giggle) at the Powder Factory---in Kings Mills--by Greg Storer. Now Greg is teaching art in Mason , Ohio-----google it. ( Greg Storer-art)

Now for the coolest places I have visited in Boston---this may take two blog posts to cover.( one dealing strictly with Salem)...yet if you are going for a visit---worth the read.

My first reccommendation-----upon arriving----get a street map......NEEDED to traverse the town.
And, def....take time to explore some out of the way places----I am a giant "This Old House" fan.....and wanted to see the towns they had filmed in.

Sitting on Newbury Street ( I compare to Rodeo Drive in Ca. or  Third Street South in Naples, Florida)  having a lite lunch of Sushi in the Sunshine.....is AWESOME. Shopping here is wonderful....and the peeps/retailers are so friendly. (Hey---we are in the 40's in Cincinnati and Boston the 60's.....bizarre).
Copley Square hosts a Farmers Market---plants--fresh bake goods--loads of stuff---too many to mention----is only in decent weather and only til sometime in Nov. ( or early Dec.????) .....very end of-----right across the street from this is a cool Catholic Church---with a gift shop in the basement--and open during the day---for meditation/prayer.

Next The Prudential Center-Mall.........take your walking shoes....well worth the trip....many-many shops-well known and not-----a pretty and interesting place. Pinkberry Yogurt----okay check this----coconut-mango--chocolate-----with toppings.....is delicious.

There is a cute and wonderful place called "South End Buttery Cafe" on Shawmut Avenue......is yummy.
Will always be busy...so plan on waiting.

I love to visit the Italian District with food and shopping is a must see......Italian foods and desserts.....Mike's Pastry.....Heaven...

Okay--more later......will tell you about my trip to Salem---a couple of weeks ago.....was sooooo cool.