What we all want and what we actually get.

I think in the mainstream, we all want the same things.

Good Health, Wealth, and Wisdom.... to use that  wealth wisely.
 Peace, Joy, and Love.
Having a stable relationship will insure peace, to some degree. And love is so sweet.

But, what happens when we, due to whatever influence, get involved in a bad relationship----or we think we are in a good relationship, and mid-stream-we find out that it was never gonna be good?
The person is medicated and forgot to share that very real-life aspect of their health/personality with you?
Or the hopes and dreams you discussed when dating change as soon as you say, "I do"?

 It was all smoke and bullshit to entice you in, to deal with the nightmare, that that person really is or can be? depending on their mood, medication, etc.

Also, there are times that loneliness makes us imagine that someone is something they are not.Yikkers....

Or God Forbid---we want to do the switch-er-roo. We know how that person really is--but they just need us to change them for the better........egods.

Relationships may  seem really hard work.......and that is usually because someone isn't doing, for what ever reason, their fair share of the work.....ut oh.

I liken these instances, mentioned above, to what would happen if this relationship were a corporate job....Alot of Hell to pay, would be the answer.....or, " you can fool some of the people some of the time".......right. Pink slip has been issued. re-named Divorce decree for this exercise.

What happens when someone becomes ill the second year you are in a committed relationship----I know what should occur--however, some people don't seem to.

So, what is the answer?
Well, for me, long engagements are not something I see myself entering into.......that bullshit thing again. Talking about , like say 5 years....and an elopement  after a couple of months will not work, either.

What about? here is a thought......
Looking at how, if they have any, their family interacts with them? Their friends respond to them.....assuming they have friends. Their opinions on current events. Religion, politics, children, travel, where to live. This list goes on and on, depending on what is most important to you.

I will say this.....if finances allow and you love to take a couple of trips a year, oh say, to the beach, and this person hates to leave home.....ever----you are not going to be happy. This, of course, is an exaggerated instance of possible disagreement, but can be very real.

I dated someone who traveled alot-for a corporate job--and was told that something as simple and as pleasurable for me, as going out for fine dining, had been done by them so often for corporate clients, that they never wanted to go out to eat in this type of setting again. I didn't factor into the equation.....
Sad.

Realizing that life is ever changing and your relationship will change too, is certainly important.

People are only issued so much patience and endurance and then times up?

Look hard at a situation and realize human nature being what it is, peeps  can change for the better, but old habits die hard.....and stay with people more often than not. So, if a habit bugs you while dating the person, imagine that happening everyday for years........(whoa!)

The older an individual is, the less likely change will occur in your new relationship---so maybe look at what happened in their previous relationships.......someone left them.....probably a good reason for that, say after a long time-years, however, people do grow apart.

This is not a negative blog------the answer is, choose wisely----hope for the best-however, if it is really bad-no matter what---like that corporate job----have an exit strategy--and date set.
 You do not need to share this like an ultimatum.........keep it close to your chest...."notice given" is not required in a relationship.

Being theatrical doesn't do anything more than make us look like an actor in a bad comedy.

We all want a loving and harmonious relationship, if we elect to enter into one. And we need to take our time entering into a new relationship, if this is like our third long-term one.

As a rule, few people like to be totally alone. And there is a chance you will find Mr. or Ms. Right.....

However, perfection is difficult to obtain for humans. If someone seems too perfect they usually are not.

Common sense doesn't really  prevail when our hearts and libidos are involved.
 And we cannot interview people like we do for a job.....or ask for a resume, mores the pity...haha.

We can keep our options open and take our time and, yes, hope and maybe pray for the best.......you never know.
You may be pleasantly surprised....as my niece says: "you have to kiss alot of frogs before you find your Prince".....smiling.

I hope you all get what you want......me too. Start the New Year with new dreams and the  hope that you can achieve them. God Bless us all!